aberration.

if you are going to start a Journey..shouldn't you have a map? Life, a simple word considering its importance,  has a perpetual tendency to get wickedly off Balance if you are not careful. so much to do, so much to do..having the Heart of a lion and the luck of a squirrel is a peevish conundrum. sounds like a children's book, but in respect to my Life, it would not be fitting. like a bumptious child i have much to learn and much to tame. this map i have drawn out for our Journey has been logged mentally. filed in a place that is collecting dust. i have placed it there subconsciously i believe, because i have lost the interest of my co-pilot, my Fred Astaire, mia Socio, my Daughter. her aberration is okay, but mine is not. she is growing and willful. clearly demanding to make her own mistakes. i am no longer the lead character in this play. Acceptance is the hardest Lesson for a Mother. you must understand that you cannot mold your child. i must learn to delay the ruminating "all knowing thoughts," and give her and myself a break. i feel like i am screaming and no one can hear me. is anyone listening? so many people around me are so careless with their lives, why? i see kids chugging soda, energy drinks, eating terrible things and they are seemingly healthy? Taylor on the other hand is not so lucky. Parents just don't look at the facts. DO the research, our kids are in gross numbers getting sick everyday. disease is not something God has handed these children. our Environment and lack of duty to our kids to be healthy is the cause. their luck unfortunately will run out and who is to blame? i don't mean to be preachy, i just care. sometimes i feel that my wishes are rarely granted, my worries are sitting here with me, and my compassion for her to achieve optimal health, serenity and enlightenment will be my dying wish. Buddha found enlightenment under the Bo tree. 
this did not come to him easily. thankfully, Wisdom comes only in Time. Mia Socio will find her Tree of Wisdom! i Pray to the Moon and Stars that she will rejoin me on this path to a Healthy Life soon. it is extremely hard to be forward thinking always, make all the right choices and expect so much of yourself. especially when everyone around you is not like you. being scoffed at or picked on because you are not making bad decisions with your friends is hard for a teenager. it is hard on me! people actually get annoyed with my Life choices. why? i admittedly am a hypocrite because i am most likely annoyed with their choices, but only because i want the best for them. there is a distinct difference.

we have struggled together on so many issues, our lives have been messy for a long time, too long. every time i clean it up, a hurricane comes through and sets me back.. this is something i may never understand. honestly, i have become an expert on making everything appear terrific, because that is what i want to believe. Life is terrific, even when it is failing you, but it hurts..a lot. it can be relentless and unforgiving, but excitably worth it! if you are a Mother and are listening, please be good to yourself and to your Children. Give them good Health and less substance. Spend more Time with them and less time in the Smith and Jones race to success. i look at the plate i provide Taylor with and wonder how i can add more Life to her through that plate. what am i doing for her? if i had been slapped in the face with this knowledge years ago, her Life would have been miraculously different, but again Wisdom comes in time.. i was not taught really anything about Nutrition or how my Body functioned. Why didn't i care enough about myself, to at least look up and understand the one thing getting me through each day...my Body? i certainly knew everything i needed to know on how to work my electronics, maintenance my car, apply all matter toward vanity...it's just silly really.

i don't know, i guess this blog is one more avenue to ground myself. i truly hope that our Life experience helps others. having Hope for reason is a Blessing to my conscience. i have gone circles in my mind trying to make sense of everything and i truly believe Capple House will be a tremendous way to help make all the wrong, right...my aberration has ceased, my map is out and i have blown the dust off! my Sentiment to you is Genuine and more than ever, i am thankful to you for reading...

Namaste~